The F word
As we head towards Christmas, a time when many old family wounds can start to sting, there's another F word out there that can be just as fully loaded as the one your mind probably went to first. Forgiveness.
Chances are there's at least one person in your life (or maybe even yourself) you're struggling to forgive for something. Even if the actual experience may have been years ago, the feelings of resentment and holding on may still be there. Forgiveness is one of the hardest acts, but also one of the most liberating (and important) if you're on a path towards embodying your highest self, and living from a place of freedom and peace.
It took me a long time to learn that forgiveness isn't something we do for the other person. It actually has nothing to do with absolving them of any wrong doing, or validating or justifying their behaviour or action. But it has everything to do with releasing yourself from the situation or event, so that you can move forward. When we hold onto resentments, we keep the energy of the situation circulating in our system, where the negative toxicity of it continues to cause pain and damage, long after the event is over. We hold onto this thinking that not forgiving the other will keep them trapped and punished, but in reality, it is only ourselves we keep trapped and punished.
Forgiveness does not exonerate the perpetrator. Forgiveness liberates the victim. It's a gift you can give yourself. - TD James
The reality of forgiveness is that it is really hard. It takes work, courage and strength to face the negative emotions that a person or experience can well up in us. But as we know, the way out is through, and when we feel, allow and process what hurts us, we come out the other side with more freedom. So, as you move into the festive period, I want to invite you to give yourself the ultimate gift: the relief and liberation of letting go of any resentments you might feel towards someone, and practice that forgiveness. Give it a try, and see how you go. It might not come easily, but it will come with many rewards.