Give up the need to be right
There’s a sense of satisfaction, a false sense of peace when we feel we are right in a situation. When we feel that we can conquer another and force them into the defeat of accepting that we are right. What do we gain from this? There’s a placating of the ego when we are victorious in a situation. Victory implies strength, and strength implies survival.
As our animal nature, the ego is concerned with survival as its primary need. And rightly so. But survival is based on food, shelter and safety. Not winning an argument about a TV show, the best way to mop a floor or, on a grander scale, why one ideology is superior. So why do we place so much of our own value, happiness and security on being right? When we try to be right, we are operating from ego, from that smaller self, with a false sense of finding safety and satisfaction. It doesn’t lead to lasting happiness, though, because there’s always more arguments to win, always more people and situations to defeat. What then, if we were to release the need to be right? Even, yes EVEN, if we know we are right?! (As my ego just popped up and said as I was typing!) If we’re at loggerheads with someone, doggedly fighting to prove our point and make them yield, is it worth it? Is it worth the cascade of stress chemicals, damaged relationships, sense of division and fleeting sense of victory?
What if, in those moments, we let go of the need to be right and instead opted for peace? To smile and let be the differences between us and another? The ego may kick and scream and tell us that’s a ridiculous idea, but as we know, any time the ego riles up, is usually a sign that we are on the right track. To be triggered by a thing is an indication that it is an area for us to rethink and find a new truth in.
Next time you find yourself trying to convince someone you’re right, see if you can drop it. What happens? Behind the tantrum of the ego, can you notice a sense of peace and simplicity that arises when there’s no agenda to prove? Aside from avoiding an antagonistic situation, notice the freedom, the lightness that comes with nothing prove. In these moments, I like to remind myself of this: when you have nothing to prove, you have nothing to lose.